Archive for the 'Testimony' Category

A big day for a small man

Over the last few weeks I have come to realise a couple of hard truths about myself.

I am a small man. I have accomplished small things. Lived a small, largely meaningless life.

I am not saved. Yes, I have made a decision to become a born again Christian when I started this blog. But I did not make Jesus the Lord of my life. I did not make Him master of every area of my life. I looked at Him, but did not follow Him. I used salvation as my safety net. I just checked the box. I did not understand the cost thereof. The price I have to pay.

Today is a big day for me. Today I will choose again. I am scared. Scared that I may fail again…I have no choice though. I am tired of being a small man. Tired of searching. Of not being at peace. Of failure. And I know I am destined for great things. All of us are. We were created in God’s image. And He is not a small God. And I know that my only hope of becoming a great man is to become God’s man. Because I know now I will never become a great man if I do not hand Him the steering wheel. I do need to stay in the car though to enjoy the ride. And that will take commitment. Discipline. Tough things for me to do. But I have an expectancy. An expectancy that if I die today – truly crucify my own, selfish and sinful nature – He will rise with me, in me. I have an expectancy that I will be filled with the Holy Spirit today. That His mighty power will become visible in me. That He will guide me. That it would be easier for me seek Him, diligently. That I would truly experience His love. His love for me. And that I would love Him back.

Today a small man will die. I pray that a big man will take his place.

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The Light shines again

Over the last 18 odd months, I have had a reasonably rough ride. My marriage failed, I had to work at an organisation that compromised my principles, and I was trying very hard to press the “self-destruct” button.

Six months ago it started to change. I met a women that I now know was placed on my path. Since then, my life changed completely. I am in love again, I quit my job and are beginning to re-discover my faith. And all because I believe God revealed himself to me through her. He truly works in mysterious ways!



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