Over the last few weeks I have come to realise a couple of hard truths about myself.
I am a small man. I have accomplished small things. Lived a small, largely meaningless life.
I am not saved. Yes, I have made a decision to become a born again Christian when I started this blog. But I did not make Jesus the Lord of my life. I did not make Him master of every area of my life. I looked at Him, but did not follow Him. I used salvation as my safety net. I just checked the box. I did not understand the cost thereof. The price I have to pay.
Today is a big day for me. Today I will choose again. I am scared. Scared that I may fail again…I have no choice though. I am tired of being a small man. Tired of searching. Of not being at peace. Of failure. And I know I am destined for great things. All of us are. We were created in God’s image. And He is not a small God. And I know that my only hope of becoming a great man is to become God’s man. Because I know now I will never become a great man if I do not hand Him the steering wheel. I do need to stay in the car though to enjoy the ride. And that will take commitment. Discipline. Tough things for me to do. But I have an expectancy. An expectancy that if I die today – truly crucify my own, selfish and sinful nature – He will rise with me, in me. I have an expectancy that I will be filled with the Holy Spirit today. That His mighty power will become visible in me. That He will guide me. That it would be easier for me seek Him, diligently. That I would truly experience His love. His love for me. And that I would love Him back.
Today a small man will die. I pray that a big man will take his place.
Today is a very exciting day. God has placed it in our hearts to donate the proceeds of today’s trade in my wife’s retail shop to Him today. We pondered whether we should close the shop in rememberance of this day, 2000 odd years ago, when Jesus gave so much for each and every one of us. Instead, we decided to rather use today as a day of giving, thanking Him and honouring Him through our actions.
“Lord our Father, I pray that today will be Your day. I pray that today will be a day of introspection, a day of spiritual stock-taking, a day of repentance, a day of thanksgiving, a day of joy and a day of blessing. I pray that Your name will be honoured today. I pray that you will, through the power of Your Holy Spirit, touch people’s lives today. That You will draw them close to You. That their hearts will warm to You. That lives will be changed through You. I pray that in the name of Jesus, whose blood was spilled for our salvation. Amen”
Published October 6, 2012
Over the last 18 odd months, I have had a reasonably rough ride. My marriage failed, I had to work at an organisation that compromised my principles, and I was trying very hard to press the “self-destruct” button.
Six months ago it started to change. I met a women that I now know was placed on my path. Since then, my life changed completely. I am in love again, I quit my job and are beginning to re-discover my faith. And all because I believe God revealed himself to me through her. He truly works in mysterious ways!
Published June 19, 2012
Dear Lord, I pray for Brian, his wife Gakii and their marriage today. I know that, even though I have failed in mine, by Your grace I can still pray for their marriage. I ask for Your Holy Spirit to touch them, to let them see each other through Your eyes, to restore understanding, gentleness and love. I pray that Your will be done in their lives. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen
Published August 28, 2011
I pray for Aju today. I pray that Your will be done in his life. I pray that You will reveal Your plans for him, and that he will will be still enough to hear when You speak to him. I pray that he will find joy and peace, that he will bear witness of what You have done, and are doing, in his life. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen”
“As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”
Why do we first need to lose what we have before we realise how much it actually meant to us?
My simple prayer for today is that I will really appreciate what I have, whilst I still have it.